Sacred Heart Bereavement Ministry
Support For the Grieving
Mission: To be a compassionate, consistent, caring and sacred presence so that no one will have to grieve alone. Support for the grieving invites us to comfort those who mourn and are sorrowful, one of the corporal works of mercy.
Sacred Heart’s Bereavement Ministry: The Bereavement Ministry calls us to embrace compassionately more fully those members of our parish who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Many of us have experienced loss and walked the healing journey. We invite you to offer compassion, wisdom and to be a listening presence to help others find their way through the grieving process.
Volunteers Provide Consolation in Four Areas:
Meeting the Needs of the Family
When the priest meets with the family to offer consolation on behalf of our parish family, a Family Funeral Support Minister will also be present. At this meeting we strive to determine how best we can support the family through the funeral process. The Family Funeral Support Minister will also attend the Celebration of Life Services and will assist the sacristan and family as needed.
Kitchen Angels
The Family Funeral Support Minister will ask the family if they would like to use the Parish Center for a post-services reception. A team of Kitchen Angels will oversee all aspects for the reception. Food, beverages, service, and table centerpieces will be provided at the request of the family. If the family wishes to use an outside caterer in the Parish Center, the Kitchen Angels will be on hand to meet the caterer and oversee the use of the facility.
Abiding Care
Support is offered to those grieving in the days and months after the services. An Abiding Care Minister will periodically contact the family, offering consolation as needed until the first anniversary of the deceased. The Ministry will assist in the planning of Sacred Heart’s Annual Memorial Mass and reception.
Grief Support Group
Grief Support Group sessions lasting six weeks will be facilitated by trained volunteer peer counselors. Everyone who is grieving is welcome to come and share their story of loss and be heard with compassion and hope.
Contact The Bereavement Ministry
To learn more about Bereavement Volunteer Opportunities,
please call Nancy Crowley at 408-374-3197 to email jncrowley@sbcglobal.net.
What Do We Need For Grief?
What Do We Need For Grief?
Time: Time alone and time with others.
Rest, Relaxation, Exercise, Nourishment, and Diversion: Grief is an exhausting process emotionally. You need to take care of yourself.
Hope: Others who have been through the experience may give you hope that sometime in the future your grief will be less raw and painful.
Caring: Helping a friend or relative also suffering the same loss may bring you closeness with that person, and lessen your own grief.
Faith: Approach your spiritual or faith leader for support and consolation.
Goals: Living one day at a time is a general rule of thumb. Guidance or counseling may help with this process.
Small Pleasures: Enjoy the healing effects of small pleasures.
Patience: Sometimes after a period of feeling good, you may again feel sadness, despair or anger. Be patient with yourself-grief is a process.
A Time for Everything
Understanding Grief
Grief is a natural response to loss. Each person’s grief is individual. You and your family will all experience the loss and each one will cope with it in a different way. You can depend on those loved ones, and others around you for help.
Crying
Crying is an acceptable and healthy expression of grief. It releases pent-up tension. Cry freely as you feel the need. Physical reactions to the death of a loved one may include loss of appetite or overeating, sleeplessness, and other difficulties. You may have little energy, and find it hard to concentrate. What you may need is a balanced diet, rest and even moderate exercise.
Friends and Relatives
Your friends and relatives may feel uncomfortable while being around you. They want to ease your pain and often do not know how. Talk about your loved one so they will know this is a means of support.
Avoid making hasty decisions about your loved one’s belongings, and taking major actions such as changing residences or jobs for at least a year. Do not allow others to take control of your future or to rush you. You can do this little by little whenever you feel truly ready.
Guilt
Guilt, real or imagined, is a normal part of grief. It surfaces in thoughts and feelings of “if only.” The bereaved may feel they have nothing to live for and may think about a release from this intense pain. Be assured that a sense of purpose and meaning does return; the pain does lessen. In order to resolve this guilt, learn to express and share these feelings, and learn to forgive yourself.
Anger
Anger is another common reaction to loss. Like guilt, anger needs expression in a healthy and acceptable manner. Be careful how far you take anger, and remember that it can have a negative effect on those around you. Like guilt, anger can be overwhelming; however, sharing our feelings honestly can be fruitful.
Children and Siblings
Children may also experience the same emotions that you do, so share your thoughts and tears with them. Be sure they feel loved and included during the grieving process. Holidays and anniversaries of your loved one’s birth and death can be stressful times for you. Consider the feelings of your entire family in planning the days ahead.
Community Bereavement Support
Catholic Charities
2625 Zanker Road, San Jose, CA
408-478-0100, www.catholiccharitiesscc.org
Centre for Living with Dying
Grief support for individuals, families, groups and children is provided. 408-553-6950, www.billwilsoncenter.org
A Child’s Understanding of Death
Discusses Children’s perception of death at different ages and various ways to provide caring support for them during this difficult time.
www.hospicenet.org/html/understand, www.kidsaid.com/doughypage
Christian Counseling Center
3880 South Bascom Avenue, Suite 202, San Jose, CA 95124
408-559-1225, www.cccsanjose.com
Diocese of San Jose Support Group for Victims and Survivors of Violence
Meets every 2nd week of the month at 890 Benton Street, Santa Clara, CA.
Contact Lynne Lukenbill at lmlukenbill@me.com
Kara
Counseling and other emotional support services is provided for those who are grieving. Programs for adults, groups, school programs, and children’s grief.
650-321-5272, www.kara-grief.org
Hospice of the Valley
Bereavement Services are open to the general public.
408-947-1233, www.hospicevalley.org
Pathways
888-755-7855 or 408-730-5900, www.pathwayshealth.org
Deanery Support Groups
We are part of a local Catholic support network for those who grieve a loss. Find some listed below.
Sacred Heart Saratoga
Remembrance Services provide an opportunity for prayer and sharing. Seasons of Hope is a six-week grief support program. Contact the Parish Office: 408-867-3634
St. Joseph of Cupertino
Group grief counseling is facilitated on the 2nd Sunday of the month from 12:30 to 2:00 pm. 408-252-7653 ext.30
St. Mary’s Los Gatos
One-on-one sessions with trained parish lay ministers are available. Seasons of Hope is a six-week grief support program offered three times yearly. 408-354-4061 ext.121
St. Thomas of Canterbury
Group support to share feelings of grief on the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays of the month at 7:00pm in the Church. 408-111-2222
Queen of Apostles
Group support for emotional and spiritual healing around grief. Meetings are in the Rectory on the 1st and 3rd Monday of the month from 7:00 to 9:00 pm. 408-241-1209
